Mr. Fraser: Welcome, sports fans, to the proceedings of the 29th Session of the Alberta Legislature, otherwise known as the Bitumen Bubble Classic. Right off the bat we have a lineup change. The Premier is not on the front line of the government. She’s been called up to the big leagues federally, where she has yet to make an impact.

The puck is dropped. The Leader of the Official Opposition opens with a question posed by the Alberta Party weeks ago about oil curtailment. The Deputy Premier takes a shot from the UCP leader, stickhandles into the NDP corner. She’s cycling the puck and cycling and cycling. Here we go. She takes a shot back, unwilling to accept responsibility after three and a half years in government. It’s another weak shot.

Another UCP member attempts to take the shot, but it’s stolen by the leader. The leader for the UCP takes a big windup, shoots again, aiming for some other minister of the Crown. The front bench of the government looks back and forth as to who is up in the rotation, and it’s back to the Deputy Premier, who takes the question, keeping her teammates seated on the bench.

The UCP leader fires back again with the same question, hits the crossbar. Back in the NDP corner the Deputy Premier seems to be cycling the question in her own corner again. It’s an unusual strategy if you thought you had the mandate to forecheck for Albertans.

As we reach the half, we’d like to recognize the contributions of some of the amazing players in this Legislature and hope that one day their jerseys are retired in the rafters of this place: the Member for Grande Prairie-Wapiti, the Member for Edmonton-Highlands-Norwood, the Member for Vermilion-Lloydminster. Their character, principles, and dedication to this province are commendable. They have served Albertans with dignity, passion, and truth. I will miss them. Alberta will miss them.

Okay, folks. Back to the game. Possession is back with the UCP. It appears they’re having some trouble with bench depth, so back to the leader, who fires a shot. He seems to be taking the same shot over and over again, hoping to slip one by, but the government is standing firm and refusing to give an answer. Again the NDP Deputy Premier cycles back in the NDP zone, refusing to answer the question. Hold on. The Deputy Premier shoots. It’s on target. Both teams crash the net. The puck is lost in the scrum. Folks, we need to go to video replay. It looks like both teams are so busy fighting each other that nobody managed to get the puck over the line.

With that, the game ends, and Albertans are wondering if both sides have forgotten who they’re playing for.

 


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